Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice that involves sending and receiving compassion. The word “tonglen” means “giving and receiving” in Tibetan. The practice involves cultivating compassion for oneself and others by visualizing taking in the suffering of others and sending out compassion and relief.
To practice tonglen, you can follow these steps:
- Find a comfortable seated position and take a few deep breaths.
- Bring to mind a person or situation that causes you suffering or difficulty. It can be helpful to start with something small and gradually work up to more challenging situations.
- As you inhale, visualize taking in the suffering of the person or situation. Imagine the suffering as a dark or heavy substance, and as you inhale, visualize it entering your body and filling you with compassion.
- As you exhale, visualize sending out compassion and relief to the person or situation. Imagine a bright light or healing energy flowing out of your body and into the person or situation, easing their suffering.
- Continue to breathe in suffering and breathe out compassion for a few minutes. You can also repeat a phrase to yourself, such as “may all beings be free from suffering,” to help cultivate a compassionate mind-set.
It is important to approach the practice with an open and nonjudgmental attitude. It can be difficult to confront suffering, but the goal of tonglen is to cultivate compassion and understanding, not to fix or solve problems. With regular practice, tonglen can help to develop a more compassionate and caring perspective towards oneself and others.
1. Flash on Bodhichitta
Rest your mind for a second or two in a state of openness or stillness. This stage is traditionally called flashing on absolute bodhichitta, awakened heart-mind, or opening to basic spaciousness and clarity.
2. Begin the Visualization
Work with texture. Breathe in feelings of heat, darkness, and heaviness—a sense of claustrophobia—and breathe out feelings of coolness, brightness, and light—a sense of freshness. Breathe in completely, taking in negative energy through all the pores of your body. When you breathe out, radiate positive energy completely, through all the pores of your body. Do this until your visualization is synchronized with your in- and out-breaths.
3. Focus on a Personal Situation
Focus on any painful situation that’s real to you. Traditionally you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, if you are stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you are feeling yourself, and simultaneously for all those who feel the same kind of suffering. For instance, if you are feeling inadequate, breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat and send out confidence, adequacy, and relief in any form you wish.
4. Expand Your Compassion
Finally, make the taking in and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extend it out to all those who are in the same situation. If you are doing tonglen for someone you see on television or on the street, do it for all the others in the same boat. Make it bigger than just that one person. You can do tonglen for people you consider to be your enemies—those who hurt you or hurt others. Do tonglen for them, thinking of them as having the same confusion and stuckness as your friend or yourself. Breathe in their pain and send them relief.
Tonglen can extend infinitely. As you do the practice, your compassion naturally expands over time, and so does your realization that things are not as solid as you thought, which is a glimpse of emptiness. As you do this practice, gradually at your own pace, you will be surprised to find yourself more and more able to be there for others, even in what used to seem like impossible situations.
